Gut Feel: A sense of a nonsense

As per my understanding and especially in my case, I can say that it is really so difficult for one to know what he wants to do in life. I don’t feel that there is a single gem which everyone chase in this single life. As in my case, there were and are different phases in which I define my own goals and call it either gem or a diamond depending upon the kind of contentedness it gives me after achieving it. But no matter if it is a gem or a diamond for different phases, today I am sure that there is certainly a sea bed in every life which you feel, once reached and that would be your final destiny.
When I was born, like everyone else (except the specially blessed ones) I had no idea of what I would be, where I would be going, What I would be doing. 25 years later, If I ask such questions to myself, the answers would not be lucid and certain but yes out of the dillusion and mist of my feigned personality here in the herd of rats, I can say YES! This is the gut feel that makes me staunch that no matter what other things I do, before dying, I have to do that and that is writing a book. I know not how difficult of easy it is for others, but for me it is like the ocean of satisfaction and content for a parched bird.
I was never in search of that or neither somebody asked me to look into myself and find out what I wanted to do in life ever. But it’s been some time I do feel certain pangs in me which always prods me to vow to myself that ‘YES this is what I wanna do’. I feel this is the voice of real me which when reaches to my ears gives me immense ebullience even by the anticipation of the day I would achieve this goal. The principal motivation for me behind writing this article after some 8 months is the power of those pangs only. The vigor of those pangs is so great that today when I was in a discussion with friends, even after a hiatus it urged me to be certain once again that I will do it and will never die before doing that.
I had my this goal in mind before joining B-School also( thanks to my CAT prep following what I tried my hands on writing and thence set my goal) but extreme peer pressure and agile environment had rusted my mind from working towards my ultimate goal and covered my cerebral with the mantle of money. I have been lured towards something else. But today I feel that the strength of my determination has unrestrained my mind and thus it is again running towards the achievement of my lifetime goal. Today I say to myself: Sky is your limit, lets fly wherever you want!! Hopefully soon I would follow my trajectory and crossing all the impediments I would be among those who fly in their own direction away from the sight of this world where everyone else perched is enlightened with the gratification of their ‘REAL ME!’